I’ve posted recently that I’m beginning to get better at mediumship and posessory work. At Ecstasis (The Brotherhood of the Phoenix’s holiday in the season of Mabon), I got the opportunity to do something I haven’t done for the Brotherhood since 2005. That is, I got to perform the aspecting/invocation of our god during public ritual.

I received a call from Reverend Coriander about two weeks before Ecstasis. He asked me if I would be interested in manifesting the Divine Androgyne for Ecstasis. I wasn’t entirely surprised that I was his choice, but I also wasn’t really expecting it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to at first. As George said, “You could talk about any of our God faces for 30 minutes without stopping, of course you have something to say.” He’s right, but I wasn’t sure that the Androgyne had anything to say through me, and that’s important to me. There is a big difference between expressing our thoughts on a matter and becoming the voice of the god. I told Coriander that I’d let him know the next day.

That night I did divination and seership work to commune with the Androgyne. Am I the right vessel at this time? Do we have things to share together? I knew that I felt I understood the Androgyne, that I was in good communion, but I wanted to hear the vision of the Androgyne on the matter. Again, I was surprised. The vociferousness and immediacy of the response I got was stunning. Clearly we had things to say together. I texted Coriander the next day that I was a go.
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There is so much, I’m not sure I’ll ever find the words for it, but if I don’t start now I’ll never manage it. Starwood was the most interesting festival I’ve ever been to. There, that’s a true statement.

It’s hard to understand my reaction to the festival without knowing how it ended, so I’ll start at the end. Almost the end.
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I’m on the red line south, heading to work. The train is still kind of empty. I took the red line because I wanted the opportunity to sit down and write, and to not be crowded or crushed once we get to the busier parts of the commute.

I’m trying to put together a comprehensive list of the things I need to do over the next few weeks, and some of them are just getting away from me. Work is very busy right now, I’m juggling several projects and trying to make myself useful in a variety of ways. I often have the feeling that I’m not getting enough done, or being effective enough. It is frustrating, because it’s not really my fault. I’m bound by the processes and dictums of the rest of the company, and not just my own efforts.
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